Jul 26, 2011


The clouds, at once, parted and I regained the vision...the vision of happiness.  I remembered who I was and realized where I wanted to be.  After this realization, there was no turning back, no way to pretend again, no intention of pushing ahead.  There was not a clean break.  The past invades my present and blurs my future.  Again I feel the chain yanking at my neck as I venture forward into life, as if I'm a dog...on a leash...in your yard...and I've run out of slack.  But I don't belong to you.



jmv

As it once was, it is again.

Days, weeks, months, years past
Today feels as it did then
And tomorrow shows no signs of change
Thoughts and questions free-flowing
Are now stifled and suppressed

Objurgating eyes, judging
Hurt feelings
Reproaching words, spewing
Harshly over-analyzing my every thought
Keep out of my head

jmv

Jul 19, 2011

Rainy days

Few and far in between
Lovely, cleansing, free
Come down on me
Refresh my spirit
Renew my mentality
Let my worries trickle away as you do
Then, as quickly as you come, you go...
You can't be controlled
But don't let it be too long before I feel you again.



jmv

Jul 18, 2011

Sig, my nig.

Like a mismatched yet thoroughly complimenting and comfortable pair of socks.
Yellow, Green, Orange and Earth
Static and dynamic
Taking In The Sunshine, And Everything All Around You
Planted, Rooted But Not Lifeless
What Do You See Perched On Your Pedestal?
Self-Sufficient, Yet Completely Dependent
What Happens Within You, And All Around You?

I have never felt regret for leaving you.

Why did you do it?
Where did you go?
What is truth?
Will it ever end?
When was it ever right?
If I hadn't, where would I be?
Why is it so easy?
What am I really thinking?
Where do I want to be?
There are many sides to a story....is there truth to all versions?
What is truly essential?
(jmv)

Jul 17, 2011

I am not done with my changes.

 
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.
 
--Stanley Kunitz, excerpt: The Layers 
 

Jul 16, 2011

I wish thoughts had an expiration date.  Not being unique in this aspect, I over-think, over-analyze but under-act?  Here I am thinking of if I should, how I could, maybe it would...and by the time I figure it out...it's no longer relevant.

The other day I heard of a classmates passing.  She was a classmate, I won't lie and say we were friends.  The thing I remember the most is her smile....big, bright, never forced and always inviting.  I used to tell her she'd win pageants with her smile alone.  Cristina was one of the few people I can say was constantly faithful.  I didn't know her but that was one of the things I was sure about...she didn't rub it in your face, but she didn't hide it..wasn't ashamed and it wasn't questionable for her.  Why would something as horrible as CANCER happen to such a wonderful, faithful person?  What could possibly be the reason in that?  They say...God doesn't give you more than you can handle?  Like I said, we were just classmates.  I was pretty upset about it at work, a coworker asked about it..that was nice.  People don't seem to care much about others anymore.  I always care too much.


Not a soul reads this, but I feel like I should apologize for the random rambling
...the unfocused energy that is this post.
There are feelings
fragments of thoughts
partial truths and traces of evidence
bouncing around in my head.
I feel the need to let them flow,
go where they may and finally let them be freed and heard,
read
...or not
...but they'll be out.

jmv

Jul 9, 2011

All of the love&light in this ever-shrinking, yet glorious, universe is put to shame by the love&light in your beautiful, brown eyes... when, in awe, you look into mine and say: ''I see me in your eyes, Momma...Laila in your eyes!''  jmv

Jul 1, 2011

Haha!! You are very funny, Universe!

Although it was started by you
I need to uphold it

The distance between us
 
Just thinking of you arouses in me the memory and curiosity
Remembering the time shared
Awakens in me the desire to reach out
And close the gap
Between our bodies
Make the sweat run
Raise the temperature of an already sweltering, summer night
By erasing all second guessing and any thought of judgement
Only being in the moment

In the heat of our embrace

In the passion of our kiss

Melting together beneath your sheets




distance.


jmv